postheadericon Education Is Essential When It Comes To Buying Great Jewelry

by Fing’ rs

Education Is Essential When It Comes To Buying Great Jewelry

Buying jewelry for a loved one can be a nerve-racking experience. Lessening the stress and enabling the buying experience to be a happy one can be very beneficial to both the buyer and the seller. This article provides you with a multitude of methods to help you be more confident and less stressed when buying your jewelry.

If you are buying jewelry as a gift regarding someone and you are not sure what they would like, consider asking the jewelry store if they sell gift cards. By giving a jewelry gift card being a present instead, the recipient can click on the jewelry retailer themselves and choose the exact piece that they want.

Before purchasing earrings that have diamonds or other stones in them, make sure that the stones can be replaced. You do not want to be put in a situation where the stones have fallen out of your earrings and they cannot be replaced. If you are uncertain, you can always ask a jeweler any kind of them.

Try choosing silver over gold. The olden days of silver being a lesser metal than gold are over. Metallic is also consistently priced, while precious metal continues to rise in price. You don’ t have to worry about karats with this metal. Just make sure to avoid nickel silver or even German silver as they contain simply no real silver.

Keep the receipt for the jewelry that you buy, even if you buy it regarding someone else. You never know when there is going to be an issue with a piece. It could break soon after you buy it or you could find out that it is not what it was stated to be at the time of buy. Keep your receipt so that returns and exchanges are certainly not made that much more difficult.

When you are trying to buy jewelry for the girlfriend, get her best friend’ s opinion first. It is quite likely that your girlfriend and the girl best friend share fashion tips and go shopping together. Her best friend will most likely know what styles of jewelry will appeal to your girlfriend, so run your own selection past her first. But , make sure if you’ re looking to make your gift a surprise, that you swear the girlfriend to secrecy!

If you want to buy inexpensive jewelry, buy homemade jewelry instead of going to a store. A lot of people use their own blogs to sell their own creations. You can even look at online auction and purchasing websites to find artisans selling inexpensive jewelry. Make sure you buy something through someone you can trust.

To add more personality to your seem, choose jewelry in colors that contrast with the rest of your clothing. Not only will this give you a fashionable and sophisticated look, but it will also make your entire outfit look more bold. Try looking for jewelry in shades of blue or striking metallic.

As has been stated in the beginning of the article, buying jewelry can be a very stressful experience. Knowing your way around a jewelry countertop can help give you the confidence and capability to make the right choice for your beloved. Apply the advice from the post and you will find yourself knowledgeable and ready to fulfill your jeweler.

postheadericon Can be your Girlfriend A Compulsive Liar?

by Joelk75

Is Your Partner A Compulsive Liar?

Preferably, a relationship should be built upon trust, respect and honesty. Maintaining important things to yourself and not discussing it with your partner might ultimately ruin your relationship.

There is such a thing as being a compulsive liar. If you are in a relationship so you love your partner too much to allow him to or her go, then you might want to take a look at the signs and reasons for being a compulsive liar:

This bad habit can come from having a very low self-confidence.

There are several reasons why one would compulsively or deliberately lie.

One of which is having a low self-pride. If you do not love yourself enough, then you can certainly never love anyone else completely plus selflessly.

Having a reduced self-esteem can later on lead to compulsive lying.

Take this for example. A girl who had a humiliating the child years experience or comes from a broken family is very ashamed of her household background.

Before the lady finally reaches adulthood, she is at a very awkward stage where it takes very little to wound her delicate ego.

As a result, the lady makes up stories about his household background, and lies about their self.

Once she sees that her stories are weaving cloth magic on other people and the tales make them like her, what is the result?

She will keep on weaving cloth lies, and this habit she will consider with her until she develops into a mature adult.

People with this complex never believe that they are, nor will they ever be, as good as the people around all of them. In the above example, once the young lady turns out into a woman and she are at a stage where she begins to have relationships, guess what will happen?

Instead of breaking the chain plus finding ways to stop the habit, she will keep on lying to keep a man interested.

In the end, she will never have a stable relationship because the truth regarding her will come out eventually.

What if my girlfriend IS a compulsive liar?

In case you are a man with a girlfriend who is a compulsive liar, there is a very high probability that you will get hurt in the process. Once you find out regarding the web of lies that the lady told, will you still find it within your heart to forgive her?

Unfortunately, having a relationship with a compulsive liar is quite harmful to some other people’ s feelings.

Compulsive liars cannot help lying ‘ even to their loved ones’ and if you have a girlfriend with this situation and she does not want to seek help, then you are at a crossroads.

As heart-wrenching as it is in order to let go of somebody you love with this type of situation, you have no choice but to let go. Otherwise, you are simply letting yourself in for more heartbreak.

Compulsive liar sign #1: I am afraid to face the truth.

A compulsive liar feels that it is but natural to lay, so she is actually afraid of facing up to facts. She is always in denial. She wants to believe the particular lies that she made up, so much so that she sometimes believe this to be true. In fact , she desires it to be the truth.

Usually, compulsive liars develop this particular habit at an early age and it is carried on for their adulthood.

Compulsive liar sign #2: My lies are better than your truth.

Compulsive liars usually experience envy and fear towards other people.

He or she will also feel that because they are so used to lying, they can quickly see through the deceit of others. Thus, they show an surroundings of authority, and they think that others will never see through their lies.

This develops into a vicious cycle that is even more destructive for that person with this complex, and will certainly affect the people around him or her.

Compulsive liar sign #3: I lie for my own purposes.

This statement is actually a lie by itself because compulsive liars can lie for any reason in any way, even if they would not gain everything from it.

The habit of lying has become deeply indebted in their system that they cannot escape from this.

The Cure

The cure for compulsive lying depends on the person herself. In case you are in a relationship with someone who is a compulsive liar, ask yourself, is she worth saving? The answer is, of course! Any person who wants to be cured of the compulsion to lie is worth saving.

The key is that she their self should want to change and do away with this habit. With some professional recommend, some help from you and your loved ones, then you can certainly take the first step to curing your girlfriend from this ‘ disease’ of compulsive lying.

postheadericon Profitable Personal Development Begins Righ Now Using these Tips

An absence of healthy personal development can inhibit your own prosperity in business, relationships and personal growth. If not checked you may find your self alienated in situations where your personal growth has not reached a level which makes interactions or decisions challenging. Trying to achieve a healthy level of personal growth and development will help you gain confidence and achievement overall.

Be true to your self, and be the best “ you” possible. Be honest about what you need to be fulfilled and happy, and reject those things that do not bring true joy into your life. Be the best “ you” that treats yourself with respect, love and caring. When that version of you will not yet exist, work on finding and developing it.

Become awaken to, wake up to your true personality. This is easier in theory, especially when friends, family and significant others depend on us being who these people think we are or who they need us to be. Look beyond the “ you” that you present, and locate the deeper, real soul that will lives in your spirit. Strive to provide new parts of that soul in to the reality of your daily life, every day.

One major part of self development is learning to be humble. While becoming confident about your skills and experience is wonderful, too much can stop more improvement in its tracks. Recognize that you can still make mistakes, and acknowledge that which people can do to enhance the knowledge you already have.

Have pride. Your own personal development relies on a strong sense associated with self. While being boastful is just not desired, pride for what you’ ve already accomplished is necessary to develop confidence to move forward. You’ ve worked hard to get to where you are, so acknowledge the good things you’ ve done. It will help you achieve greater things later.

Personal development does mean being thankful for what you do have. End up being gracious for the wonderful things in your life, and use this knowledge to propel yourself to your goals. The assistance systems you already have in place offer several venues to continue to work in your self-confidence.

To reduce the chance associated with feeling overwhelmed, break large tasks into smaller manageable tasks. Being able to complete the small tasks will give you a sense of accomplishment and the ego-boost can fuel your ambition to complete more tasks. By focusing on the small tasks you will reduce stress, stay focused and the original goal in no time.

You have to be sure to be honest with your self about where your personal development presently is and where you need it to advance toward to utilize any of the tips defined out in this article. A level of personal realization will help you decide what measures will be best suited for you.

postheadericon Guidelines And Hints On How You Will Get Your Kids To Eat Better

Parenting your child is one of the most important points you’ ll ever do in living. As a parent, your job is to assist your son or daughter grow up to be the best person they can be. In this article, you’ ll find a selection of tips that will help you do exactly that.

We all know that engaging in a spat with a toddler is never the most efficient use of our time. To avoid quarrels, make sure you explain your reasons for your own rules in ways that are easy for your toddler to understand, and decide ahead of time which rules are flexible and that are non-negotiable.

It is crucial that you get your son or daughter interested in vegetables as soon as they are able to consume them. By not giving your son or daughter vegetables at this time of their life, they are not going to want to eat them whenever they get older, which prevents them from getting proper nutrients and nutritional vitamins.

Do not put work over your child. Of course it is necessary to work in order to support yourself and your family, when you are never around, your child will feel like you are a stranger, that make them not want to trust you or be close to you.

Although children may be temperamental there is no such thing as a bad child. If your child is constantly disobedient and disrespectful, that says much more about you than it does your children. Just like you had to learn Algebra you must learn how to increase a child. There are many resources available for you.

A great parenting tip is to work together with your spouse if you’ re married or part of a couple. If the two of you aren’ t on the same page, both of your parental initiatives might get foiled. By working together you’ ll be able to solve issues together.

Find a mesh teether. These neat little things enable you to put different kinds of food in them and keep them in the freezer and give these to your child when they need them. You can use any kind of food that your child wants and it will be an enjoyable treat for them as they sooth their sore gums.

When you raise your children properly, you’ re helping raise the long term world to be a better place. Utilize these tips to help your child grow to become good person.

postheadericon Family Ties – When to Release

by Tc Morgan

Family Ties – When to Let Go

Ruth consulted with me because she had been confused about what to do regarding her mom, her brother, and her kid.

From the time Ruth was born, she never felt like she belonged in her family. The girl mother ignored Ruth, obviously selecting her brother, and consistently permitted her brother to beat Ruth up. Ruth had some reference to her father, but he was obviously a weak man and never stood up for her or protected her.

Ruth was a loving kid and tried in any way she could to please her mother plus brother, to no avail. She could never understand why her household didn’t like her.

As an adult, she married a good emotionally unavailable man, a man very much like her mother. As with her mom and brother, she tried in lots of ways to get his love and never been successful. Her son, Dylan, was eight years old when they divorced.

Dylan always seemed to prefer his father, and finally went to live with his father when he was sixteen. Once again, Ruth was completely at nighttime regarding why her son did not like her. She had been such a devoted mother, so why was he rejecting her?

Ruth finally married again, this time to a loving man, and had another kid. Her current family was totally different from her previous family and through her family of origin. However , she still hoped to have a relationship along with her mother. She would send the girl mother birthday and Christmas credit cards, but rarely heard from the girl. The final blow that sent the girl to seek my help came when she found out that her kid had gotten married without informing her, and that her brother got moved her mother into a nursing home and sold everything with no telling her.

Ruth was a shining light of really like. Her eyes, her smile, the girl gestures all radiated love plus compassion. Her deeply gentle plus peaceful nature was evident at first glance.

“Why? Why do not they like me? ” she questioned.

“Because you are the giver and they are takers, ” We told her. ‘Givers care about others, whilst takers just want to take from other people. You can never give enough to a taker to receive any caring back, because they don’t like themselves. These people reject themselves and try to get other people to give to them. Because they have emotionally abandoned themselves, they are angry in others for not giving enough for them. Your mother and brother were united in their taking from you, as were your first husband and kid. They look at you and see a fountain of love coming from you and they need it, but they are incapable of getting it. Your light contrasts with their darkness and they hate you for this. ”

“But so what can I do? ”

“Nothing, other than not be around them. They will suck the life out of you in case you allow them to spend time with you. I am aware you care about them, but they are incapable of caring about themselves or perhaps you, so you have to let them go. It is far from in your highest good to be with individuals who are incapable of valuing you – who just want to take from you. ”

“But can’t We help them? ”

“No, because they are not asking for assist. I know you have believed that if you simply love them enough, they will heal and love you back, but this will never happen because they are not really open to your love. They really feel inadequate in the face of your open cardiovascular and their closed hearts, and they also take their self-judgment out on you. There is nothing you can to do to help them open their hearts. Only they could do that. It is unlikely your mom or brother will ever open up their hearts, but perhaps your son will in time. He will come to you if he does. ”

“But I have such a excellent life now. Isn’t it self-centered of me to just let them go? ”

“No, it really is self-responsible. It is not loving to yourself to be around people who treat you badly. ”

Ruth understood. She felt sad, but relieved. She finally saw that every she could do was hope for them to open their hearts.

postheadericon Organic Ways To Help Your Baby With Teething

With raising a child, there are no definitive rules in order to do anything, exactly the right method. While this may seem to be a daunting truth, remember, that every person new to raising a child always feels the same way. However , with a bit of sound advice, you may get off to a great start with your youngster. Follow these tips and advice, if you want to begin your career as a parent in the right foot.

An important tip for parents is to become accustomed to your children’ s friends as well as their parents. By getting to know your children’ s playmates and also their particular moms and dads, it is possible to develop a sense of comfort and confidence in the types of influences to which your sons and daughters are usually regularly exposed.

Use a push or hand express milk if you are engorged and the baby is not ready to eat when breastfeeding. There are couple of things more painful to a new mother than having produced too much milk and not having a way to discharge it. Our bodies gradually start to create only what is needed for the baby but it takes a little while to regulate. By expressing some of the milk you can reduce the pain until baby’ s next food.

When your child falls plus bumps their head, do not allow them to go to sleep for at least two hrs. This is because you want to monitor for symptoms that your child may have suffered from inner bleeding. Some symptoms include sweat, confusion, headache and dizziness complaints, and blurred vision. If your child has these symptoms, bring him/her towards the emergency room.

When learning to self-discipline your child, do not make threats that you will not go through with. For instance, if your child throws his toy, tend not to say you are going to throw the toy away, if you are not going to do it. If your child knows you will not really do something, there is really, no need to listen.

If you would like your child to have a healthy emotional cleverness, make sure to validate their emotions plus discuss emotional expression with them. Children learn when it is appropriate and improper to express emotion – show them that emotions are a natural and valid means of expressing our feelings by labeling emotions for them, discussing each their and your emotional expressions, plus validating their feelings.

Parenting is not a science, so whilst not everyone will agree on particular matter, you can choose and try different things to see what works for you. This is important. Take those advice that you feel will get the final results that you want from your child. You now have solid information and advice; the next step is up to you. Good luck!

postheadericon Saving Difficult Relationships through Communication

by US Embassy New Zealand

Saving Difficult Relationships through Communication

Confess it or not, relationships with others are important to us as human beings. Relationships with parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, professors, roommates, and classmates can bring joy and takes on added significance in our lives. We find out that it is often in or although intimate relationships that our romantic, companionship, and intimacy needs will be fulfilled. It is no wonder then, that we find ourselves preoccupied or consumed along with pursuing, maintaining, ending, and coping with the loss of such relationships. While each of these stages of relationships can be difficult and challenging, it is commonly when romantic relationships end or “don’ t function out” that we struggle the most.

Whatever your age and encounter, a relationship can bring you brand new and demanding challenges. Being able to deal with conflict and deal with differences is essential in maintaining healthy relationships. Everyone who might be in a relationship or cares regarding their relationships may need assistance at some point to help them deal with problems or even difficulties in a relationship, learn how to through or improve relationships, cope with the relationship that has broken down and help to alter a relationship where there is assault and abuse.

All married couples experience problems in one form yet another — it’ s part of revealing your life with another human being. The difference between a healthy relationships that work, and people that don’ t, is how well couples deal with the challenges and problems they face in your daily course together.

There are reliable tools that can be used to create a healthy relationship, many of which have not been taught in our culture. If you want to have a really healthy relationship, follow these simple guidelines.

· Do not expect one to be responsible for your happiness. Too often, romantic relationships fail because someone is unhappy and blames their partner to make them feel that way. Make yourself content first, and then share his or her joy.

· Forgive each other. Forgiveness is a process of ending your anger or resentment towards one more individual. It can have the power to transcend all offenses, great and small, and learning to forgive another requires patience, honesty, and respect. When sincerely given freely in a relationship, forgiveness may heal relationships which are suffering. Forgiveness is an act of humility, not one of haughty feelings.

· Do not perform anything for your partner if it comes with an expectation of reciprocation. The things you are doing for your partner must always be done since you chose to do them and you wanted to do them. Do not hold your “good deeds” over their head at a later time. Keeping score in a relationship will never work: a person is less likely to see and value all the contributions of the partner as much as their own.

· Be Responsible. Responsible means that you might have the ability to respond. It does not mean you might be to blame. If you’ ve already been rude to your partner, own up to it, and get try to think of ways how you might do it differently and in a positive manner next time. If you are unhappy inside your relationship, make an effort to learn how you might produce a better relationship for yourself rather than attempt to change your partner.

· Approach your relationship as a studying experience. Each one has important information so that you can learn. When a relationship is not working, there is usually a familiar method that we feel while in it. We are attracted to the partner with whom we can learn the most, and sometimes the lesson is to let go of a relationship that no longer serves us. A truly healthy relationship will consist of each partners who are interested in learning and expanding a relationship so that it is constantly on the improve.

· Appreciate yourself and your partner. In the midst of an argument, it could be difficult to find something to appreciate. Start by generating appreciation in moments of non-stress, and that way when you need to be able to get it done during a stressful conversation, it will be easier. 1 definition of appreciation is to be sensitively conscious so you don’ t have to be sugar-coating anything; so tell your beloved that you simply love him or her, and that you don’ t want to argue but to and make it better.

Research have shown that people in encouraging, loving relationships are more likely to feel healthier, happier, less stress and satisfied with their lives and less likely to have mental or physical health problems or to do something that are bad for their health. People in supportive, loving relationships assist each other practically as well as emotionally. Supportive partners share the good times and help each other through the tough ones. Speaking and listening are probably the most important skills in a relationship. There’ ll always be tensions and disagreements, but if you are able to communicate well, you can overcome almost any problem.

postheadericon Become the Parent Your Children Deserve With These Guidelines

Whether you are the first parent or have welcomed an additional child into your family, parenting is a globe filled with love, happiness and self doubt. Children, unfortunately, do not come with an instruction manual and it is quite normal in order to question your actions on a daily basis. Here are some handy hints to help make being a mother or father a little less confusing.

It is important to remember while disciplining your children is usually consistency. Parenting during the terrible-two’ s i9000 can be challenging, for both little one and adult. At this stage children want to push the limits of what exactly is and is not allowed. Make sure that you set clear boundaries and are consistent with your time-outs so children know what is expected of them.

Get your kids with the food prep. Asking them to help, even in small ways, with meal time will get them more interested in the meal you’ re preparing. They’ re likely to eat better if they are more interested. In addition , it keeps your children from becoming bored while you’ re trying to cook.

It is important which you recognize the signs that your child is ready to start using the toilet. By pushing them to use it when they are not ready, you can actually delay the whole process. Several signs of readiness include having normal bowel movements, staying dry with regard to at least two consecutive hours, and coming out and asking to use the particular potty.

If you have children in your home and you have a fireplace, make sure to get a fire place or hearth gate. Thousands of youngsters are injured each year from fireplace incidents. These injuries could have easily already been prevented if the parent had taken safety precautions and gated from the fireplace.

Many children detest the bitter, chalky, or sour taste of commonly prescribed liquid antibiotic medications and vitamin and mineral supplements. Ask your pharmacologist about medication flavoring options; some medicines can be prepared with a aggression suppressor and sweetening agent. Well-known flavors include cherry, banana, bubble gum, and even chocolate silk quiche.

In the years to come you will appearance back on your early days of motherhood and laugh at the mistakes and fears. In the interim each day with your child is a blessing and a joy. Cherish them and know that you are not alone in the concerns that you encounter but will always find support so you do not have to face them alone.

postheadericon Guide To Making Parenting A Little Easier

Parenting is a hard job but there is good reason for you to be optimistic. Good advice is more easily available than ever. You can try some new techniques and learn from the experiences of others. The tips you will find in this article have was the test of time, and will give you the feeling that you are not alone in facing those parenting challenges.

It is critical that you have personal time, free of your children. Set up a regular play date or a weekly check out with the grandparents, so that you can have some by yourself time. Tension often arises right after parents have gone too long with no break from the kids. As tension rises, so does the stress from the household, which can cause everyone to become unhappy.

Instead of using containers as a way for dad to bond with the baby, look into other more book options. Many breastfeeding relationships are harmed by the need to have dad active in the feeding. Fathers however have many other ways to bond with their babies compared to by interfering with feeding time. Have dad give baths or even massages to the baby. Dad can rock the baby to sleep right after breastfeeding is done providing crucial binding moments.

Sometimes, the best reaction is no reaction at all. When your kid throws a temper tantrum or even fit, remain calm. Do not attempt to bribe him or her to behave, but also avoid making irritated or caustic remarks with the intention of harmful or shaming the child. Instead, keep on speaking normally, getting chores completed and addressing the child, as if he or she was not acting up.

An excellent parenting tip is to not try and lay guilt on your child at all times. If you are always trying to make your child feel guilty for something they have got done or haven’ t completed, your child will develop a complex and can greatly resent you for it.

If your child’ s pajamas are consistently wet when you get him up in the morning, try putting him in a diaper that is one dimension larger than what he normally would wear. A larger diaper provides more insurance coverage and can take in more of your child’ s pee, providing them with a drier night’ s sleep.

Whatever your parenting challenges, understanding that you are not alone, and that answers in order to problems are available, will make you feel heartened that you can be successful as a parent. However, best parents can make good use of the sound advice found in the article above. Start putting it into practice today, and you will make your job just a little easier.

postheadericon Dating-relationships & Independence: Women Over forty Keeping Life In Balance

by CanadianAEh

Dating/relationships & Independence: Women Over forty Keeping Life In Balance

How do you find the balance between your own independent life and being in a relationship? For some women this really is about facing your worst concern that you will somehow lose yourself along the way. You can find out how to make sure that you don’ t give up on yourself while being in a relationship. Five surefire ways of keeping you independent plus happy whilst dating and finding a relationship that is the right balance for you personally.

Women wanting a relationship

At least fifty percent of the women over 40 whom I coach say at some point, instead defensively, “ I want to do this coaching work with you but I don’ t really know whether I would like to be in a relationship”. They are defensive because they think that everyone is expected to wish to be with a partner. That is how the world appears, especially when we are single. Interestingly this is not the whole of the story. When I dig just a little deeper what usually comes up is that for many women their worst concern is that they don’ t want to get rid of their independence. You have all worked well hard to gain your independent place, especially those in their 40s, 50s & 60s. This of course is not just in relationships but also in the world of work. For many women when they have got used to being single they are, on many levels, very happy with their lives. “ I like being able to do what I want to do, while i want to do it, without having to ask anyone else’ s permission. ” stated Emily a divorced women in her 50s. “ I spent so many years being at the beck and call not only of my hubby but also my children, they are matured and it is now time for me”. We can all sympathise with her.

Women want independence & relationships

In fact , many women go to me to find out is whether they can find the kind of relationship that they want while still retaining their independence. Such as everything in life it is about stability. Relationship coaching does not mean that we don’ t look at the whole picture in your life. No relationship will work if you are not in balance with yourself. Now you may have got very used to ‘ doing all your own thing’ but there remains a niggling doubt. That little voice is saying “ Why can’ t I have all this and have a relationship too”. Well the answer is that it is possible and I help women achieve that. It is especially important that you first become clear about what you want to retain about your independence and what you are looking for in a partnership.

What must be in place for a relationship to work?

What you must become clear about is what elements of your independent life you want to retain. Think about what are the ‘ must haves’. These may be things like time, certain kinds of space as well as a certain amount of time to spend with family and friends. You get the idea. Once you are completely crystal clear what these are you start to have a formula for the life you want to have with someone else. Equally make a list of what it is that you want from the relationship. Remember nowadays there are all kinds of relationship arrangements – they are not all live-in married relationships.

How to keep your partnership boundaries intact

What exactly is most important is that you are conscious about your boundaries in a relationship. Getting the stability right can be difficult, but if you have articulated for yourself your own ‘ must haves’ you will be in a much stronger place. This might sound very contrived but think about it. When you go out to buy some new piece of kitchen equipment you will have spent some time thinking about what functions you desire it to have. There are100s of different kinds of washing machine out there but if you might have your ‘ must haves’ clearly listed then it is going to make the process easier. I know this sounds like finding a partnership is like going shopping. Well it is in a way, and don’ t we all love shopping? Remember this is about you becoming The Chooser, that is one of the ways that you retain your independence and don’ t get swept away at the moment.

1 . Make your own ‘ must haves’ list for your independent life

2 . Make a list of your requirements in a partner

3. Remain The Chooser whenever dating and finding a relationship

4. Stick to your lists – talk about them with a friend and get them to remind you if you start to slip

5. Learn to say ‘ no’ early in the relationship if issues don’ t fit – they will won’ t change just because you hope they will!